Vaudeville Performer Gifts

"The Professor is ready for ANOTHER volunteer from the audience."

Clown on bike.

A sheep dog has stacked the sheep four high - 'He used to be with the circus before he came to the farm...!'

Clown throws a bucket of confetti over car at 'Jimbo's carwash'.

'She finds it really easy to juggle her kids with her career now she's joined the circus.'

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

Litter Tray Training

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

'He's maturing early.'

Job Vacancy: Human cannonball. Applicants must of the right calibre

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

"Why don't you start with tennis balls?!"

'So one day I thought, I'll teach you brats to laugh at me!'

'I have a feeling one day when he grows up he'll be an artist of some kind.'

A Clown pretends to put his head in the mouth of a TV lion.

"I don't think you're taking this relationship seriously..."

"Water balloons... water balloons..."

Clown to clown on unicycle: 'How does it corner?'

"What's your occupation?"

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

'Popovitch, nobody laughed about you until you fell off the ladder and got trampled down by the elephants. I want you to do that every evening.'

"Try to get him away from that bloody whip...Pass it on."

When clowns are hunting.

Stepping on clown's shoe...

'Send in the Clones.'

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

Clown Wife

'My god! Have you seen the size of this chiropodist's bill?!!'

Clown Ministry Baptism Today

The circus diver.

The Path

"Wilson, you're still using those training wheels?!"

"I'll bet he knows what it's like to be a single working mother."