Vaudeville Performer Gifts

"The Professor is ready for ANOTHER volunteer from the audience."

Clown on bike.

A sheep dog has stacked the sheep four high - 'He used to be with the circus before he came to the farm...!'

Clown throws a bucket of confetti over car at 'Jimbo's carwash'.

'She finds it really easy to juggle her kids with her career now she's joined the circus.'

'He's maturing early.'

Clown's Comedy Fart.

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

Job Vacancy: Human cannonball. Applicants must of the right calibre

Litter Tray Training

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

'So one day I thought, I'll teach you brats to laugh at me!'

"Why don't you start with tennis balls?!"

'I have a feeling one day when he grows up he'll be an artist of some kind.'

Clown Wife

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

"What's your occupation?"

'Send in the Clones.'

"What do you mean you can't stand to be touched?"

Clown to clown on unicycle: 'How does it corner?'

Clown Ministry Baptism Today

"Water balloons... water balloons..."

'My god! Have you seen the size of this chiropodist's bill?!!'

A Clown pretends to put his head in the mouth of a TV lion.

Stepping on clown's shoe...

When clowns are hunting.

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

"Try to get him away from that bloody whip...Pass it on."

"I don't think you're taking this relationship seriously..."

'Popovitch, nobody laughed about you until you fell off the ladder and got trampled down by the elephants. I want you to do that every evening.'

The circus diver.

The Path

"I see you haven't forgotten how to play with your balls, honey." "Thanks."