Vaudeville Artist Gifts

Pantomime Horse Eating.

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

"I think I should tell you, I'm CGI."

Moon

Vaudeville producers audition a singing Canada goose.

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

Finger puppets in church.

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

'I see the critics say I need a new partner.'

Ventriloquist Audition

"You can stop any time, sir. I've already told you I'm not wearing a body camera!"

Barbara Streisand

W.C.Fields

Recording Studio

'I think it's some kind of power point presentation.'

"It took years of vocal training, but I now have a vocal range from squeaky right down to tenor..."

"Hello, my Baby! Hello, my Sweetie! Hello, my Ragtime Gal..."

". . . But, hey, man, I just want to say this in all sincerity, man, that you are the greatest, man, you the el numero uno cat in my book, man you. . ."

"Sorry about that. Just following the serving suggestion."

Walter The Sea Monster

Pianist takes his bow whilst the singer carries on singing.

Me... And My... Shadow...

'Brother John had discovered a loophole in the vow of silence'

Sarah Vaughan

'This is the way to do it.'

The Moe Howard Installation

Peep show

'My best attribute? That would be my glottal stop.'

Amateur singers

Choir Games

Goldilocks and the Three Stooges

Pandora's Box Set - Actors who tried Singing.

'I think Beatrix wants to show you her latest video installation.'

Sleeping dummy.