Vanity Vanguard Gifts

"Not only do you look marvelous but all of you looks the same age."

"Hey, gramma. What happened to the money you got from selling grandpa's fishing boat?"

How do I love me? Let me count the ways. Ok. You have 18,523 selfies.

'They are a lot better now that the swelling has gone down.'

The world's most successful beauty blogger...

'of course it's not natural: He dyes his mane to cover up his grey hair...'

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

"Buy them - and never look back."

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

'I had a little cosmetic surgery done this week.'

Medical Silicon Paste.

Surfer Blowing Back His Hair.

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Cover Design for the Yellow Book, Vol 3- Street Lamps Lighting a Lady's Toilet Mirror

"And now. . . which shoes?"

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

Spontaneous Kombucha

"These new variants are triggering my impostor syndrome."

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

'I'm having a bad whisker day.'

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

Cafe investors: I'd like your support in acquiring the lemonade stand down the street. By cutting redundant labor, marketing and technology. I place our annual savings at $17 billion. The phone company investors bought it. Can monkey lick your head?

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"How could you forget where you buried dad. You do know he has the car keys in his pocket?"

The Eternal Question

'Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's is the fairest arse of all?'

TV-Mirror.

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

'Cosmetic surgery.'

Krest Yellow Strips. (Rat performs dental hygiene.)

A bald eagle approaches middle age

Music Freak.