Vanity Villager Gifts

Toupee in a tin.

Surfer Blowing Back His Hair.

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

"I just hope the world doesn't end before people can see our outfits."

Cover Design for the Yellow Book, Vol 3- Street Lamps Lighting a Lady's Toilet Mirror

"And now. . . which shoes?"

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

'I'm having a bad whisker day.'

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

Complete Makeover

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

The Eternal Question

"Believe me, you never looked better since you fell into that vast of skin cream."

TV-Mirror.

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

'Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's is the fairest arse of all?'

'Cosmetic surgery.'

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

'I turn the other cheek more now that Botox has made it wrinkle-free.'

'I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I had the whitest teeth!'

'Your new teeth whitener is keeping me up.'

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'