Vanity Villager Gifts

Toupee in a tin.

Surfer Blowing Back His Hair.

Cover Design for the Yellow Book, Vol 3- Street Lamps Lighting a Lady's Toilet Mirror

"And now. . . which shoes?"

"I just hope the world doesn't end before people can see our outfits."

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

'I'm having a bad whisker day.'

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

Complete Makeover

How do I love me? Let me count the ways. Ok. You have 18,523 selfies.

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

The Eternal Question

'Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's is the fairest arse of all?'

TV-Mirror.

'Cosmetic surgery.'

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

"Believe me, you never looked better since you fell into that vast of skin cream."

Krest Yellow Strips. (Rat performs dental hygiene.)

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

'I turn the other cheek more now that Botox has made it wrinkle-free.'

'I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I had the whitest teeth!'

'Your new teeth whitener is keeping me up.'