Vanity Wanderer Gifts

Welcome class of '67.

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Man admiring his patterned clothes in the mirror

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

The Wet Fly Fisherman: He is less vain about his appearance.

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

'Cosmetic surgery.'

Krest Yellow Strips. (Rat performs dental hygiene.)

'Mommy puts on a disguise every time, before she goes to work.'

TV-Mirror.

Vanity artist

Man brushing the teeth of his reflection.

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

'I turn the other cheek more now that Botox has made it wrinkle-free.'

'Does my posterior appear oversized in this?'

'And, may I add, this hat does not scream, 'Bald Guy'.'

'I like to stay fit. Or at least wear a lot of lycra.'

'Get the 'extra hold' bear spray. I want to look good when we come out of hibernation.'

Toupee in a tin.

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

'I know how you feel.'

"There's something you should consider before you begin—my hair works hard and it plays hard."

Extreme Vanity Press - Fall, 2007

Tanning Machine on the beach