Vanity Voyagers Gifts

"All in favor of toupees, say aye."

Young Girl: 'Oh YEAH?! Well my Mum's Implants are BIGGER than YOUR Mum's!'

'It's not just cosmetic, it changes your life!'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"Do you remember, Peg—are we on our way out or on our way back?"

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

"Tunnel of love"

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

The Wet Fly Fisherman: He is less vain about his appearance.

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

Man brushing the teeth of his reflection.

Vanity artist

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

'I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I had the whitest teeth!'

Genie Gets a Good View on the Beach.

'Get the 'extra hold' bear spray. I want to look good when we come out of hibernation.'

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

Toupee in a tin.

Rabbit has cosmetically enhanced teeth: 'I always said that when I could afford to I'd get them fixed.'

"There's something you should consider before you begin—my hair works hard and it plays hard."

"I never think about cholesterol when I'm on vacation."

"Welcome to Vanity Workshop. For the next thousand years you're to read out the size labels you've removed from your clothing."

The Paper Silhouette Editor

'Ben believes looking suave is the most important part of fly fishing.'

'Having limited funds, Irwin goes with the less expensive chest hair transplant.'

Eventually, a point is reached where even the best cosmetic surgery begins to look more like taxidermy gone horribly wrong.