Vanity Victor Gifts

'I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I had the whitest teeth!'

There's a slight risk of headaches as a side effect I'm afraid... Listen,headaches gave me these wrinkles in the first place!

Surfer Blowing Back His Hair.

"I just hope the world doesn't end before people can see our outfits."

"And now. . . which shoes?"

Queen of Quinoa

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

'I'm having a bad whisker day.'

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

Complete Makeover

"Believe me, you never looked better since you fell into that vast of skin cream."

'Cosmetic surgery.'

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

'Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's is the fairest arse of all?'

TV-Mirror.

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

'I turn the other cheek more now that Botox has made it wrinkle-free.'

'Your new teeth whitener is keeping me up.'

"Buy them - and never look back."

'I had a little cosmetic surgery done this week.'

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

'And, may I add, this hat does not scream, 'Bald Guy'.'

"Maybe if I put these under my pillow I'll get a visit from the hair fairy."

Martha went to desperate lengths to avoid flat hair.

'A crack team of scientists searches tirelessly for a cure for baldness.'

'I like to stay fit. Or at least wear a lot of lycra.'

'of course it's not natural: He dyes his mane to cover up his grey hair...'