Vanity Vigilant Gifts

'Do you think that the others will notice that I'm wearing a toupee?'

Surfer Blowing Back His Hair.

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

"I just hope the world doesn't end before people can see our outfits."

"And now. . . which shoes?"

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

"Hair spray"

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

'I'm having a bad whisker day.'

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

Complete Makeover

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

TV-Mirror.

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

"Believe me, you never looked better since you fell into that vast of skin cream."

'Cosmetic surgery.'

'Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's is the fairest arse of all?'

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."

'I turn the other cheek more now that Botox has made it wrinkle-free.'

'I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I had the whitest teeth!'

'Your new teeth whitener is keeping me up.'

"Maybe if I put these under my pillow I'll get a visit from the hair fairy."

Toupee in a tin.