Vanity Vanguard T-Shirts

"Not only do you look marvelous but all of you looks the same age."

"Hey, gramma. What happened to the money you got from selling grandpa's fishing boat?"

'They are a lot better now that the swelling has gone down.'

The world's most successful beauty blogger...

'of course it's not natural: He dyes his mane to cover up his grey hair...'

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

"Buy them - and never look back."

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

'I had a little cosmetic surgery done this week.'

Medical Silicon Paste.

Surfer Blowing Back His Hair.

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Cover Design for the Yellow Book, Vol 3- Street Lamps Lighting a Lady's Toilet Mirror

"And now. . . which shoes?"

Spontaneous Kombucha

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

"These new variants are triggering my impostor syndrome."

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

'I'm having a bad whisker day.'

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

"How could you forget where you buried dad. You do know he has the car keys in his pocket?"

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

The Eternal Question

'Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's is the fairest arse of all?'

A bald eagle approaches middle age

Music Freak.

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

TV-Mirror.

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

'Cosmetic surgery.'

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

'I turn the other cheek more now that Botox has made it wrinkle-free.'