Vanity T-Shirts

'I must admit, I do look good in stripes.'

'I know how you feel.'

'Do you think I need a beak lift?'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

"Tremaine, could I see you for a moment — alone?"

'This nip and tuck business - can I have the tuck without the nip?'

Ears and Nostril Shampoo.

"Do you ever think you might be overdoing the whole moisturiser thing?"

'Some boys think I'm pretty. Some think I'm ugly. What do you think?'

I'm the gorilla's nuts... I'm the dog's bo****ks... He's never been good at hiding his light under a bushel.

Surfer Blowing Back His Hair.

'Your new teeth whitener is keeping me up.'

Swell who has called a police officer to pick up his umbrella rather than bend and disturb his collar

"I reckon your schoolgirl complexion is due for expulsion any day now!"

Toupee shop showcases hairy head covering.

'I've always been a bit of a ladies' man.'

There's a slight risk of headaches as a side effect I'm afraid... Listen,headaches gave me these wrinkles in the first place!

"Perfect."

Professor Axxis feels naked jogging without his toupee.

'Great wig. Where did you get it?.'

"Maybe if I put these under my pillow I'll get a visit from the hair fairy."

'A crack team of scientists searches tirelessly for a cure for baldness.'

'If you don't count your birthday...why should I remember it?'

Man looking at himself in the mirror of the club cloak room

'Each candle represents a year of you remaining 35. . .'

"Aw, geeze. Forty nine years of bad luck."

Bill Jones - Bill Jones w/out makeup

"Would you look at the carrot on that guy!"

'You're right, I do have a bald spot.'

"Does my nose look shiny in this selfie?"

"Vanity alert! Jerry's coming with his selfie stick and he knows how to use it!"

"I never thought about coloring my hair until I coughed up a gray hair ball."

"I want you to be honest with me, Honey...can a man be too good looking?"

Phones 4 U

'Now where did I lay my comb?'