Vanity Queen T-Shirts

"It's not working."

Surfer Blowing Back His Hair.

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

"And now. . . which shoes?"

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

'Ok. Now I'm sexy.'

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

The household cavalry

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

'I'm having a bad whisker day.'

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

Complete Makeover

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

TV-Mirror.

'Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's is the fairest arse of all?'

"Believe me, you never looked better since you fell into that vast of skin cream."

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

'Cosmetic surgery.'

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

'I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I had the whitest teeth!'

'Your new teeth whitener is keeping me up.'

"Would you look at the carrot on that guy!"

'Believe me, sweetie, if I thought the 'Wrinkle Out' setting on the clothes dryer would work...'

Toupee in a tin.

"Maybe if I put these under my pillow I'll get a visit from the hair fairy."

'A crack team of scientists searches tirelessly for a cure for baldness.'

A man with a look alike lion's mane hair style.

Martha went to desperate lengths to avoid flat hair.

'Get the 'extra hold' bear spray. I want to look good when we come out of hibernation.'

'I know how you feel.'