Vanity Vixen T-Shirts

"In your case we’ll begin the facelift with an incision behind your right ear and extend it into the waiting room."

Beauty regime

Martha went to desperate lengths to avoid flat hair.

Complete Makeover

Bad Hair Day.

"Believe me, you never looked better since you fell into that vast of skin cream."

"Her age is a millinery secret. She keeps it under her hat."

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

Surfer Blowing Back His Hair.

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

"And now. . . which shoes?"

Toast at the Ball

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

'I'm having a bad whisker day.'

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

"Za Za Bling Bling goes man hunting."

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

The Eternal Question

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

TV-Mirror.

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

'Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's is the fairest arse of all?'

'Cosmetic surgery.'

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

'I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I had the whitest teeth!'

'Your new teeth whitener is keeping me up.'

'And, may I add, this hat does not scream, 'Bald Guy'.'

'Get the 'extra hold' bear spray. I want to look good when we come out of hibernation.'

"Would you look at the carrot on that guy!"