Vineyard Vixen T-Shirts

'Can I get a Chardonnay over dry ice? I hate it when my wine gets wet.'

The Vineyard

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

Wine Lady

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

Queen of Quinoa

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

Toast at the Ball

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

'We drove 800 miles for this? If I wanted to look at a roomful of dusty bottles, we could have visited your mother.'

'Who's the new guy?'

An Excellent Nose for Wine.

On Champagne: 'Nobody knows the bubbles I've seen.'

"Za Za Bling Bling goes man hunting."

Wine tasting

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

Complete Makeover

"Soy milk and rice milk are okay but I prefer grape milk.".

'The first rule of enjoying fine wine is to make sure you and the wine are in the same room.'

'The yeast cells are flocculating? - I don't think the kids are ready for that.'

Nouveau wine

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."

"Wine is plant-based food."

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

Wine connoisseur in search of new vintage.(Wine)

"Believe me, you never looked better since you fell into that vast of skin cream."

'Bruce! 'ow many times must I tell 'ya? Only one wave of the bloomin' terroir flag over the fruit!'

'I think we can skip the resume.'

"Let me guess. You had it up to here with the world of business, so you packed it all in and started your own winery."

'Move? Are you kidding? With the wines the guy next door collects?'

Man crushing grapes with flippers.

"Work with me!"

'My first day in our vineyard wasn't a total loss, honey. I found two pennies.'

Martha went to desperate lengths to avoid flat hair.