Vineyard Vacationer T-Shirts

"Soy milk and rice milk are okay but I prefer grape milk.".

Pete Townshend Vineyards

The Vineyard

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

Wine Lady

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"I make it myself!"

'Oh, rustic used to mean 'no indoor plumbing', but now it means, 'No computers'!'

'We drove 800 miles for this? If I wanted to look at a roomful of dusty bottles, we could have visited your mother.'

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

'Who's the new guy?'

'Toast'

On Champagne: 'Nobody knows the bubbles I've seen.'

Wine tasting

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

'The first rule of enjoying fine wine is to make sure you and the wine are in the same room.'

"Welcome to the French Quarter!"

'The yeast cells are flocculating? - I don't think the kids are ready for that.'

'Do you do anything with the old casks?'

Nouveau wine

Overdoing it.

'I think we can skip the resume.'

'Bruce! 'ow many times must I tell 'ya? Only one wave of the bloomin' terroir flag over the fruit!'

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."

"To tourists this just looks like a pile of rotten and damaged grapes. But here at Trendy Vineyards, we look at it and see Special Select Reserve."

Wine connoisseur in search of new vintage.(Wine)

Scene on the English coast.

"Wine is plant-based food."

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."