Vineyard Visiting T-Shirts

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

'It's your wife; she wants you to pick something up.'

'Sid uses all 10,000 grape types in his homemade wine. It's a great way to spread the blame.'

The Vineyard

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

"I make it myself!"

'We drove 800 miles for this? If I wanted to look at a roomful of dusty bottles, we could have visited your mother.'

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

"If the weather stays good, we could end up in a very prestigious 1992 Cabernet Sauvignon."

'Who's the new guy?'

On Champagne: 'Nobody knows the bubbles I've seen.'

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

Wine tasting

'The first rule of enjoying fine wine is to make sure you and the wine are in the same room.'

"Soy milk and rice milk are okay but I prefer grape milk.".

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

'The yeast cells are flocculating? - I don't think the kids are ready for that.'

Nouveau wine

'Do you do anything with the old casks?'

"To tourists this just looks like a pile of rotten and damaged grapes. But here at Trendy Vineyards, we look at it and see Special Select Reserve."

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

Wine connoisseur in search of new vintage.(Wine)

'I think we can skip the resume.'

"Wine is plant-based food."

'This is the vineyard the US government started 10 years ago, with $2 billion and a staff of 1,500. No wine yet, but I hear they've nearly got a slogan.'

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."

'Bruce! 'ow many times must I tell 'ya? Only one wave of the bloomin' terroir flag over the fruit!'

'Move? Are you kidding? With the wines the guy next door collects?'

Man crushing grapes with flippers.

Need Cash for Alcohol Research.

"If working 12 hours a day in a winery is making you crazy, get a hobby - like making homemade wine."