Vineyard Voyager T-Shirts

'Thank goodness the FDA now requires us to number each grape. We were almost caught up around here.'

Winery tours.

'Move? Are you kidding? With the wines the guy next door collects?'

'Smells all right to me, but then everything smells alright to me.'

'Don't worry, guys. Tomorrow we play the Napa Valley Cabernets, and we know they can't get over 100 points.'

"It's an agreeable little wine."

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

"If working 12 hours a day in a winery is making you crazy, get a hobby - like making homemade wine."

The Vineyard

'That's definitely the last time I recommend a wine to my plastic surgeon.'

'You said you wanted a book on how to enjoy wine. This is the only 'book' you need.'

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

'I wrote a wine book this thick because I intend to hit my biggest critic over the head with it.'

'It's your wife; she wants you to pick something up.'

'The merlot is 100 merlot; the pinot noir is 100 pinot noir, and the chardonnay is 100 Swiss chard.'

"Wine is plant-based food."

Pete Townshend Vineyards

Wine Lady

Maximilian could see far away places,but he never told anyone.

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

'We drove 800 miles for this? If I wanted to look at a roomful of dusty bottles, we could have visited your mother.'

"Run around outside? What year do you think this is - 1990?"

'Toast'

A giant glass of red wine

Poetry in motion - Runners quoting poems as they jog.

'Who's the new guy?'

On Champagne: 'Nobody knows the bubbles I've seen.'

Wine tasting

Red Wine

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

'The first rule of enjoying fine wine is to make sure you and the wine are in the same room.'