Vineyard Voyager Gifts

'Thank goodness the FDA now requires us to number each grape. We were almost caught up around here.'

Winery tours.

'Move? Are you kidding? With the wines the guy next door collects?'

'Smells all right to me, but then everything smells alright to me.'

'Don't worry, guys. Tomorrow we play the Napa Valley Cabernets, and we know they can't get over 100 points.'

'Excuse me, waiter, change that order to the '09 Gruner Veltliner - my dad doesn't know crap about wine.'

"I didn't say I was DIVINE. I said, 'I am da vine, and you are da branches.'

"You can't pair cabernet with coconut. Throw it back."

"It's an agreeable little wine."

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

"If working 12 hours a day in a winery is making you crazy, get a hobby - like making homemade wine."

The Vineyard

"Gail is so into wine that during sex last night she screamed, 'Robert Mondavi.'"

'That's definitely the last time I recommend a wine to my plastic surgeon.'

If it's all the same to you, instead of letting it breathe, we'll just give it mouth-to-mouth.

'You said you wanted a book on how to enjoy wine. This is the only 'book' you need.'

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

'I wrote a wine book this thick because I intend to hit my biggest critic over the head with it.'

'It's your wife; she wants you to pick something up.'

'The merlot is 100 merlot; the pinot noir is 100 pinot noir, and the chardonnay is 100 Swiss chard.'

"Wine is plant-based food."

Pete Townshend Vineyards

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

Wine Lady

Mac OS 20

Maximilian could see far away places,but he never told anyone.

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

'We drove 800 miles for this? If I wanted to look at a roomful of dusty bottles, we could have visited your mother.'

'Jeff is a tackle on his online college football team.'

Poetry in motion - Runners quoting poems as they jog.