Vineyard Visitor Gifts

An Excellent Nose for Wine.

'The yeast cells are flocculating? - I don't think the kids are ready for that.'

Wine tasting

Man crushing grapes with flippers.

Nouveau wine

'We only produced 50 cases this year. Most of our competitors spill more than that.'

Grapes

"Why yes, I am a professional grape stomper...why do you ask?"

'He's been in the wine business so long, he can remember when Chateau d'Yquem as Cabin d'Yquem.'

'You know why he married a vintner's daughter? He thought she was di-vine.'

'I don't get it. Ask him to start over.'

'Martha's vineyard, martha's drunk'

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

'Hey, you should be thanking us for improving your cluster-to-leaf balance.'

'I think we can skip the resume.'

'The first rule of enjoying fine wine is to make sure you and the wine are in the same room.'

'The guide said this winery has been here since 1245. I told you we should have left the house earlier.'

Need Cash for Alcohol Research.

'Consumers want so much information about where the wine comes from, we've had to start numbering the grapes.'

'You travelled 6,000 miles to find Chateau Grande Magnifique? Buddy, you're looking at it.'

The Vineyard

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

Wine Lady

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"I make it myself!"

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

'We drove 800 miles for this? If I wanted to look at a roomful of dusty bottles, we could have visited your mother.'

"If the weather stays good, we could end up in a very prestigious 1992 Cabernet Sauvignon."

'Who's the new guy?'

On Champagne: 'Nobody knows the bubbles I've seen.'

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

"As it happens, we don't produce any beer flavored wine."