Vineyard Tours Gifts

'That's disappointing - we've only gotten 10 years out of this 'Vintage of the Century' sign.'

The Other Wine Connoisseurs Were Beginning to Question Pete's Credentials.

'Do you do anything with the old casks?'

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

'So, when's the picking crew arriving?'

Wine connoisseur in search of new vintage.(Wine)

'The brochure says their wines are distinctive. I think I know why.'

'We pick the grapes, we crush, we ferment, we bottle and label - and we pay them?'

'We only produced 50 cases this year. Most of our competitors spill more than that.'

Wine Hourglass

"As it happens, we don't produce any beer flavored wine."

Grapes

The Vineyard

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

Wine Lady

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"I make it myself!"

'We drove 800 miles for this? If I wanted to look at a roomful of dusty bottles, we could have visited your mother.'

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

'That's the corkage fee you wanted to ask about, Jack, not the cleavage fee!'

'Who's the new guy?'

An Excellent Nose for Wine.

On Champagne: 'Nobody knows the bubbles I've seen.'

Wine tasting

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

'The first rule of enjoying fine wine is to make sure you and the wine are in the same room.'

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

"Soy milk and rice milk are okay but I prefer grape milk.".

'The yeast cells are flocculating? - I don't think the kids are ready for that.'

'Why is the jacuzzi full of grapes?'

Nouveau wine