Vanity Queen Gifts

'Of course she constantly takes pictures of herself. That's why they call it an iphone.'

"It's not working."

Surfer Blowing Back His Hair.

"And now. . . which shoes?"

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

'Ok. Now I'm sexy.'

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

The household cavalry

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

'I'm having a bad whisker day.'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

Complete Makeover

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

TV-Mirror.

"Believe me, you never looked better since you fell into that vast of skin cream."

'Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's is the fairest arse of all?'

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

Krest Yellow Strips. (Rat performs dental hygiene.)

'Cosmetic surgery.'

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

'Your new teeth whitener is keeping me up.'

'I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I had the whitest teeth!'

"Would you look at the carrot on that guy!"

'Believe me, sweetie, if I thought the 'Wrinkle Out' setting on the clothes dryer would work...'

Martha went to desperate lengths to avoid flat hair.

Toupee in a tin.

"Maybe if I put these under my pillow I'll get a visit from the hair fairy."

'Get the 'extra hold' bear spray. I want to look good when we come out of hibernation.'

'A crack team of scientists searches tirelessly for a cure for baldness.'