Vanity Warrior T-Shirts

'I've been trialling that new stem cell rub on hair restorer. The good news is, it works...'

The Modern Narcissus

Man drying his toupee with hand dryer.

'And, may I add, this hat does not scream, 'Bald Guy'.'

Bad Hair Year

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

"I just hope the world doesn't end before people can see our outfits."

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

Complete Makeover

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

A bald eagle approaches middle age

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

"Believe me, you never looked better since you fell into that vast of skin cream."

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

'I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I had the whitest teeth!'

'of course it's not natural: He dyes his mane to cover up his grey hair...'

'I had a little cosmetic surgery done this week.'

Martha went to desperate lengths to avoid flat hair.

Toupee in a tin.

'Get the 'extra hold' bear spray. I want to look good when we come out of hibernation.'

"Buy them - and never look back."

"There's something you should consider before you begin—my hair works hard and it plays hard."

Beauty regime

The world's most successful beauty blogger...

The Paper Silhouette Editor

"For goodness sakes, Harold. Stop preening!"

'Having limited funds, Irwin goes with the less expensive chest hair transplant.'