Vanity Challenger T-Shirts

Man at mirror.

"Could someone please explain to me why I'm celebrating the fact that I'm a year older?"

"I just hope the world doesn't end before people can see our outfits."

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

A bald eagle approaches middle age

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

Krest Yellow Strips. (Rat performs dental hygiene.)

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

'And, may I add, this hat does not scream, 'Bald Guy'.'

'Get the 'extra hold' bear spray. I want to look good when we come out of hibernation.'

A man with a look alike lion's mane hair style.

"There's something you should consider before you begin—my hair works hard and it plays hard."

"Girlfriend, you're not fat. You're just retaining a little water."

'What would you say about me having my spots enlarged?'

'Ben believes looking suave is the most important part of fly fishing.'

'Having limited funds, Irwin goes with the less expensive chest hair transplant.'

'This is Photoshop. It's like the beauty salon of the Internet.'

The Paper Silhouette Editor

"You're so vein."

Eventually, a point is reached where even the best cosmetic surgery begins to look more like taxidermy gone horribly wrong.

"Excuse Brian, but he's started to lose his hair."

'Perfect.'

"Of course I love your long hair Rapunzel. But maybe you could shave your legs just once in a while?"

Your Face In Stone