Vanity Seeker T-Shirts

'I must warn you that beauty is in the eye of the beholder...'

Ears and Nostril Shampoo.

"Mommy makeovers"

'The sport's still a mystery to me. I just found out that I look great in uniform.'

'Do you remove tattoos...?'

'Scant consolation I'm sure, but the medical council have named the syndrome after me.'

'It's Mrs Palmer. She's set solid.'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

Man admiring his patterned clothes in the mirror

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

Vanity artist

Krest Yellow Strips. (Rat performs dental hygiene.)

'Cosmetic surgery.'

Man brushing the teeth of his reflection.

'Mommy puts on a disguise every time, before she goes to work.'

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

TV-Mirror.

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."

'I turn the other cheek more now that Botox has made it wrinkle-free.'

'Get the 'extra hold' bear spray. I want to look good when we come out of hibernation.'