Vanity Devotee T-Shirts

Medusa at her Vanity Table

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

Man admiring his patterned clothes in the mirror

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

'Could you guys play a slow number so my gal and I can dance?'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

TV-Mirror.

'Mommy puts on a disguise every time, before she goes to work.'

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

'I turn the other cheek more now that Botox has made it wrinkle-free.'

"The selfie of Dorian Gray"

"So what's your success rate?"

'Get the 'extra hold' bear spray. I want to look good when we come out of hibernation.'

'It will bring economic benefits to the North and Midlands.'

'I like to stay fit. Or at least wear a lot of lycra.'

'I know how you feel.'

"There's something you should consider before you begin—my hair works hard and it plays hard."

Extreme Vanity Press - Fall, 2007

'Ben believes looking suave is the most important part of fly fishing.'

"Oh, Freddy! I just knew it would be like this!"

Bill Jones - Bill Jones w/out makeup

Tanning Machine on the beach

Stars Without Make-Up.

'What would you say about me having my spots enlarged?'

'Shakin' bacon.'

'Having limited funds, Irwin goes with the less expensive chest hair transplant.'

The Paper Silhouette Editor