Vanity Devotee Pillows

Medusa at her Vanity Table

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

Man admiring his patterned clothes in the mirror

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

'Could you guys play a slow number so my gal and I can dance?'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

'Mommy puts on a disguise every time, before she goes to work.'

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

TV-Mirror.

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

Krest Yellow Strips. (Rat performs dental hygiene.)

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

'I turn the other cheek more now that Botox has made it wrinkle-free.'

'It will bring economic benefits to the North and Midlands.'

'Get the 'extra hold' bear spray. I want to look good when we come out of hibernation.'

"So what's your success rate?"

"The selfie of Dorian Gray"

'I like to stay fit. Or at least wear a lot of lycra.'

'I know how you feel.'

"There's something you should consider before you begin—my hair works hard and it plays hard."

Extreme Vanity Press - Fall, 2007

'Ben believes looking suave is the most important part of fly fishing.'

'This is Photoshop. It's like the beauty salon of the Internet.'

The Paper Silhouette Editor

"For goodness sakes, Harold. Stop preening!"

Bill Jones - Bill Jones w/out makeup

Tanning Machine on the beach

'Shakin' bacon.'

'Having limited funds, Irwin goes with the less expensive chest hair transplant.'