Beauty Devotee Pillows

'The Botox will help me to kiss up to the Boss.'

"So what's your success rate?"

Bad hair day!

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"Too much concealer?"

Pampered and poodled.

Dating is so expensive...

New Shoes.

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

Could you see anything in her? I certainly couldn't! (Man's eyes are popping out of his head).

"I don't like your application."

What price beauty?

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

'Maybe I should get a shopping cart.'

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

"Who's a pretty girl now?"

'I'm not begging, I've just painted my claws.'

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

"Remember when we were Instagram models?"

Beauty salon - Our hair color is to dye for!

New Twenty Blades

It was time for a little bit of lady admin

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."

"Hair spray"

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

'You do Botox?'

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

"More concealer?"

Rape of the Lock- The Toilet