Skincare Devotee Pillows

'Rub this anti-wrinkle cream on all your mirrors. It won't remove the wrinkles but it will make them harder to see.'

'Great - just great! Sunspots! Always before a big date.'

"Rub this on everything."

'Someone offered you a senior discount today, didn't they, Margaret?'

"It was built from a scratch."

"Come out, honey. I found the sunscreen."

'You do Botox?'

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

'...because I personally rub it on.'

"Take it form me. You might want to use some sunscreen."

"How'd you get rid of all your wrinkles?"

"Apparently it helps to prevent scaly skin."

'It good to have a gay cowboy or two in the outfit. They always carry lotions and moisturizers.'

'Well, I actually believe my face cream makes me look younger. You believe no one knows you're wearing a padded bra. . . we all love our delusions.'

"Fine, but that's the old you talking. The new you would never ask for a refund."

New Twenty Blades

Beauty regime

And the more injections I get, the better I look! Botoxymoron.

"Too much concealer?"

Self help acupuncture

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"Round and round the cauldron we go, in the exfoliating toner I throw."

Shampoo.

Surfer Blowing Back His Hair.

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

Dating is so expensive...

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

"I don't like your application."

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

'You need to do something about your dry skin.'

'Apply that ointment as directed and call me if the growth does not reduce or it starts to talk.'