Skin Care Devotee Pillows

'I'm in dire straits, doctor...I rule with an iron fist and I have jock itch.'

"Thank you, but I don't know if a dermatologist can help you make the cheerleading squad."

"No, Liz— they didn’t take your Chantecaille Nano Gold Energizing Cream!"

Self help acupuncture

"I'm off to the gym, where my private self and my public self converge."

Spa

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

Surfer Blowing Back His Hair.

Dating is so expensive...

"Too much concealer?"

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

'You need to do something about your dry skin.'

'Apply that ointment as directed and call me if the growth does not reduce or it starts to talk.'

New Twenty Blades

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

"Sure I used drugs when I was your age, but they were all prescribed for acne."

Desert Dermatologist

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

"You try staying this this after giving birth two million times."

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

'You do Botox?'

Sunburn lotion, Windburn lotion.

"Another barnacle?!" "I was a teenage creature."

'As pizza maker, maybe a skin care products site isn't the best idea for an affiliate site.'

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

"Do you have anything that can help remove dark circles from under my eyes?"

"Yikes! So many foundations, so little time."

'Doctor, how can I prevent wrinkles? Don't sleep in your clothes.'