Skincare Aficionado Pillows

'You need to do something about your dry skin.'

"The first six are for bullets. This one here's for lip balm."

Mooseturizer

"You end up with the face you can afford."

"We used to get money from the Tooth Fairy. How come there isn't a Zit Fairy?"

"Do you ever think you might be overdoing the whole moisturiser thing?"

'I need something to remove the hair on my chinny chin chin.'

'This anti-ageing cream is well past it's sell-by date!'

'Would you like any help with your bags.'

"Nothing serious. Just belt rash. You need to wear your pants lower."

"It turns out Hell's quite good for eczema."

"My word, Ruth! How do you keep yourself looking so young?"

"Do you have anything for dry skin. . ?"

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

"Do you have anything that can help remove dark circles from under my eyes?"

"You have the wrinkles of a woman half your age."

"Couldn't you have waited till she was smiling before you injected the botox?"

"Looks like Mom is practicing getting her mask ready for Halloween tomorrow."

"Don't worry about how you look -- it's an old mirror."

"This is our most impressive magnifying mirror, it sees down to your DNA."

"Oh, quit your whining. You and your 7-year-old skin!"

"Another barnacle?!" "I was a teenage creature."

Moustache lotion

"My skin looks terrible. Fortunately I'm going to shed it next week."

'I'm going to break you like a dry twig!' 'I think not! I use moisturiser cream.'

Narcissus' cousin who's really self-conscious about his pores comes to visit.

"A Leading cosmetics company believes our drilling mud would ake an excellent skincare product."

"He's come out in clear skin!"

"I saw a study on the long-term effects of wearing makeup. It wasn't pretty."

"You worry too much about the money you spend on anti-wrinkle creams."

'You weren't supposed to open it before you paid for it.'

'Sure, you get wrinkles...but your eyesight goes, so you can't actually see 'em!'

With hindsight, maybe Colin didn't pick the best time to cover up his acne with a balaclava!

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."