Skincare Junkie Pillows

'Maybe I should see a dermatologist. My skin is getting too tight.'

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

"Round and round the cauldron we go, in the exfoliating toner I throw."

"Too much concealer?"

'You're much better than my mom. You can hardly tell when she paints her face.'

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

'You need to do something about your dry skin.'

'Apply that ointment as directed and call me if the growth does not reduce or it starts to talk.'

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

Desert Dermatologist

"Sure I used drugs when I was your age, but they were all prescribed for acne."

New Twenty Blades

Sunburn lotion, Windburn lotion.

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

'You do Botox?'

"Yikes! So many foundations, so little time."

'As pizza maker, maybe a skin care products site isn't the best idea for an affiliate site.'

"Do you have anything that can help remove dark circles from under my eyes?"

"Another barnacle?!" "I was a teenage creature."

'Doctor, how can I prevent wrinkles? Don't sleep in your clothes.'

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'

'My acne is worst on the dark side.'

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

"Apricot pit?! Are you kidding, Mister? This stuff knocks raw avocado and almond nut outta the water!!!"

"A Leading cosmetics company believes our drilling mud would ake an excellent skincare product."

'Cool it with the herbal shampoo -- you've got aphids.'

"Believe me, you never looked better since you fell into that vast of skin cream."

Tips on how to reduce those unsightly crow's feet.

"How come your skin is sooooo smooth?"

Lady Liberty's Self-Care

"Couldn't you have waited till she was smiling before you injected the botox?"