Beauty Junkie Pillows

"Do you ever think you might be overdoing the whole moisturiser thing?"

"Now, open your cosmetics fridge and delicately apply the cold hard cash to the area around your eyes."

'My friend here would like to try the Brazilian.'

'These facial wraps work great on dead skin.'

Bad hair day!

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

Pampered and poodled.

Dating is so expensive...

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

Could you see anything in her? I certainly couldn't! (Man's eyes are popping out of his head).

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

What price beauty?

"I don't like your application."

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

'Maybe I should get a shopping cart.'

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

"Who's a pretty girl now?"

'I'm not begging, I've just painted my claws.'

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."

"Remember when we were Instagram models?"

Beauty salon - Our hair color is to dye for!

New Twenty Blades

It was time for a little bit of lady admin

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

"Hair spray"

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

'There's no charge for the carrier bag!'

"That conditioner you recommended didn't do a damn bit of good."

"More concealer?"