Cosmetic Junkie Pillows

"First, we'll need a sample of your DNA."

"Honestly Xanthe. You really need to start spending more on the lipsticks you lend me."

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

"I don't like your application."

'You're much better than my mom. You can hardly tell when she paints her face.'

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

"Hair spray"

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'

'Welcome to Reputation Makeover! Tonight, my team and I will try to repair the tattered reputations of those appearing on other reality shows!'

"She won't be long, I'm just putting her face on."

'Bradley is a strict vegetarian. Do you have broccoli flavored lipstick?'

'Cool it with the herbal shampoo -- you've got aphids.'

"She's had a lot of work done."

"I'm saying we lash out for the 'Deluxe' collagen treatment, next time, honey."

"Now, open your cosmetics fridge and delicately apply the cold hard cash to the area around your eyes."

"Looks like Mom is practicing getting her mask ready for Halloween tomorrow."

'Will your wrinkle cream work on these trousers, Mavis?'

Dang, another calling. This time, Avon.

Social Media

Whatever look you were aiming for..you missed!

"I said I wanted to go to Stacey's Nail Bar."

"I see by your copy of 'Newsweek' that Lyndon Johnson has decided not to run for reelection."

'These facial wraps work great on dead skin.'

The entire family

"I have the smokey eyes look. Can the doctor still give me an eye exam?"

Cut out and keep your own Make up Artist.

"Breast implants, filler and botox for your missus doesn't fulfill our home improvements criteria."

'That new concealer works great!'

How people who have plastic surgery see themselves...