Vanity Admirer Pillows

'I'm told I cut a fine figure ... now you want to.'

'What would you say about me having my spots enlarged?'

'Well, somebody's got to fluff my wig.'

A Pig applying 'dirt' like make-up infront of a mirror

'Mind a little constructive criticism?'

It was an expensive treatment, but it feels so good to be barnacle-free...

"Do you have anything that would make me look more like YOU, and less like ME?"

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

Could you see anything in her? I certainly couldn't! (Man's eyes are popping out of his head).

Man admiring his patterned clothes in the mirror

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

"Hair spray"

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

TV-Mirror.

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

'Mommy puts on a disguise every time, before she goes to work.'

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

Man brushing the teeth of his reflection.

Vanity artist

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."

'I turn the other cheek more now that Botox has made it wrinkle-free.'

'I like to stay fit. Or at least wear a lot of lycra.'