Vanity Admirers Pillows

Vanity Ward - 'Cosmetic surgery.'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

Man admiring his patterned clothes in the mirror

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

"Hair spray"

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

'Mommy puts on a disguise every time, before she goes to work.'

Man brushing the teeth of his reflection.

Vanity artist

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

TV-Mirror.

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

'I turn the other cheek more now that Botox has made it wrinkle-free.'

"The selfie of Dorian Gray"

'Get the 'extra hold' bear spray. I want to look good when we come out of hibernation.'

'I like to stay fit. Or at least wear a lot of lycra.'

'I know how you feel.'

"There's something you should consider before you begin—my hair works hard and it plays hard."

Extreme Vanity Press - Fall, 2007

The Paper Silhouette Editor

'Ben believes looking suave is the most important part of fly fishing.'

'What would you say about me having my spots enlarged?'

Bill Jones - Bill Jones w/out makeup

Stars Without Make-Up.

'Having limited funds, Irwin goes with the less expensive chest hair transplant.'

Tanning Machine on the beach