Vanity Admirers Pillows

Vanity Ward - 'Cosmetic surgery.'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

Man admiring his patterned clothes in the mirror

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

"Hair spray"

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

Krest Yellow Strips. (Rat performs dental hygiene.)

Man brushing the teeth of his reflection.

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

Vanity artist

'Mommy puts on a disguise every time, before she goes to work.'

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

TV-Mirror.

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

'I turn the other cheek more now that Botox has made it wrinkle-free.'

'I like to stay fit. Or at least wear a lot of lycra.'

'Get the 'extra hold' bear spray. I want to look good when we come out of hibernation.'

"The selfie of Dorian Gray"

'I know how you feel.'

"There's something you should consider before you begin—my hair works hard and it plays hard."

Extreme Vanity Press - Fall, 2007

Bill Jones - Bill Jones w/out makeup

'Ben believes looking suave is the most important part of fly fishing.'

'What would you say about me having my spots enlarged?'

The Paper Silhouette Editor

Stars Without Make-Up.

'This is Photoshop. It's like the beauty salon of the Internet.'

'Having limited funds, Irwin goes with the less expensive chest hair transplant.'