Vanity Connoisseur Pillows

"Your hair dryer still stuck on 'high'?"

'He wants to look slightly mysterious and menacing.'

"You're so vein."

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

"Too much concealer?"

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

Man admiring his patterned clothes in the mirror

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

'Mommy puts on a disguise every time, before she goes to work.'

TV-Mirror.

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

Vanity artist

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

Captain Hook's lesser known brother - 'Captain Loofah Sponge',

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

Man brushing the teeth of his reflection.

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

WC problem.

"...and we plan to offer it as a scarce and valuable product."

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'