Vanity Virtuoso T-Shirts

Why, thank you - it's very kind of you to say so. You look good too.'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

'He eats his yogurt and carrot sticks out of a grease-stained brown bag to preserve his macho image.'

"You look skinner in your selfie."

"For goodness sakes, Harold. Stop preening!"

Feather Implants.

Bob believes he has thinning hair.

"Missing me already."

Men! Pep up that fat, dull head with a swellegant, elegant toupee and tash.

Surfer Blowing Back His Hair.

"And now. . . which shoes?"

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Man admiring his patterned clothes in the mirror

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

INSTANT GREY HAIR TREATMENT.

'I'm having a bad whisker day.'

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

'Cosmetic surgery.'

TV-Mirror.

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

'Mommy puts on a disguise every time, before she goes to work.'

'Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's is the fairest arse of all?'

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

'I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I had the whitest teeth!'

'Your new teeth whitener is keeping me up.'

'Get the 'extra hold' bear spray. I want to look good when we come out of hibernation.'

"Maybe if I put these under my pillow I'll get a visit from the hair fairy."

"The selfie of Dorian Gray"

"Would you look at the carrot on that guy!"