Vanity Virtuoso T-Shirts

Why, thank you - it's very kind of you to say so. You look good too.'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

'He eats his yogurt and carrot sticks out of a grease-stained brown bag to preserve his macho image.'

"You look skinner in your selfie."

"For goodness sakes, Harold. Stop preening!"

Feather Implants.

Bob believes he has thinning hair.

"Missing me already."

Men! Pep up that fat, dull head with a swellegant, elegant toupee and tash.

Surfer Blowing Back His Hair.

"And now. . . which shoes?"

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Man admiring his patterned clothes in the mirror

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

INSTANT GREY HAIR TREATMENT.

'I'm having a bad whisker day.'

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

'Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's is the fairest arse of all?'

TV-Mirror.

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

'Cosmetic surgery.'

'Mommy puts on a disguise every time, before she goes to work.'

Krest Yellow Strips. (Rat performs dental hygiene.)

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

'Your new teeth whitener is keeping me up.'

'I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I had the whitest teeth!'

"Does my brain look big in this?"

"The selfie of Dorian Gray"

'A crack team of scientists searches tirelessly for a cure for baldness.'