Vanity Warrior Gifts

'I've been trialling that new stem cell rub on hair restorer. The good news is, it works...'

The Modern Narcissus

Man drying his toupee with hand dryer.

'And, may I add, this hat does not scream, 'Bald Guy'.'

Bad Hair Year

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

"I just hope the world doesn't end before people can see our outfits."

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

Complete Makeover

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

How do I love me? Let me count the ways. Ok. You have 18,523 selfies.

A bald eagle approaches middle age

"Believe me, you never looked better since you fell into that vast of skin cream."

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

Krest Yellow Strips. (Rat performs dental hygiene.)

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

'I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I had the whitest teeth!'

'Get the 'extra hold' bear spray. I want to look good when we come out of hibernation.'

'I had a little cosmetic surgery done this week.'

'of course it's not natural: He dyes his mane to cover up his grey hair...'

"Buy them - and never look back."

Martha went to desperate lengths to avoid flat hair.

Toupee in a tin.

"There's something you should consider before you begin—my hair works hard and it plays hard."

The Paper Silhouette Editor

Beauty regime

'Ben believes looking suave is the most important part of fly fishing.'