Vanity Rebel Gifts

'Still ugly? Then come in and get p****d'

Woman's Support Group: No Bra, No Griddle, No Service.

"I just hope the world doesn't end before people can see our outfits."

'What are the other nonconformists wearing this year?'

"By 'dress down day', most of us mean not wearing a jacket!"

"He'll never grow out of it. It's made of rubber."

Rock and Roll

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

"Aren't we going a little overboard with Friday's casual dress code!?"

Man burning his tie.

'More hair than brains.'

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

Speedo Limit: 21 Years

"It makes a statement, but it begs a question."

'Good luck with the presentation dear and I still think it would be better without the hat!'

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

How Fashion Works - 'You obviously haven't heard - the adults are wearing them narrow now,'

Complete Makeover

'Casual Friday's never caught on in this department.'

"Fashion Week"

"I'm outside the fancy dress shop...."

'I'll grow old gracefully when I want to and not any sooner.'

'Louise, everyone is wearing that this year ... don't be such a sheep to fashion.'

Vacancies in Customer Care - Up Yours

The Eternal Question

"...and if we need someone with an earrings, I'll be in touch."

Personnel Manager to applicant: 'Your resume and references are excellent, but your hair is too silly.'

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

"Nice. Got this in camo?"

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

Tattoo and Piercing...Stares by an angry, judgmental mother.

"Believe me, you never looked better since you fell into that vast of skin cream."

'You are the first and the last of the Mohicans ... out!'