Vanity Rebel Pillows

'Still ugly? Then come in and get p****d'

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

Woman's Support Group: No Bra, No Griddle, No Service.

"I just hope the world doesn't end before people can see our outfits."

'What are the other nonconformists wearing this year?'

"By 'dress down day', most of us mean not wearing a jacket!"

"He'll never grow out of it. It's made of rubber."

Rock and Roll

"Aren't we going a little overboard with Friday's casual dress code!?"

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

'More hair than brains.'

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

Man burning his tie.

Punkins

Speedo Limit: 21 Years

"It makes a statement, but it begs a question."

'Good luck with the presentation dear and I still think it would be better without the hat!'

How Fashion Works - 'You obviously haven't heard - the adults are wearing them narrow now,'

'Casual Friday's never caught on in this department.'

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

"Fashion Week"

Complete Makeover

"I'm outside the fancy dress shop...."

'I'll grow old gracefully when I want to and not any sooner.'

'Louise, everyone is wearing that this year ... don't be such a sheep to fashion.'

Vacancies in Customer Care - Up Yours

The Eternal Question

"...and if we need someone with an earrings, I'll be in touch."

'Does anyone have a question?'

Personnel Manager to applicant: 'Your resume and references are excellent, but your hair is too silly.'

Tattoo and Piercing...Stares by an angry, judgmental mother.

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

'He always said he wouldn't be seen dead with his shirt outside his trousers - he'll be livid.'

"Would you have anything a bit...'stupider'?"

"Nice. Got this in camo?"