Vanity Jester Gifts

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

'Great wig. Where did you get it?.'

Surfer Blowing Back His Hair.

"I just hope the world doesn't end before people can see our outfits."

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

INSTANT GREY HAIR TREATMENT.

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

'I can't work with computers, on account of my animal magnetism.'

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

A bald eagle approaches middle age

'Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's is the fairest arse of all?'

'And, may I add, this hat does not scream, 'Bald Guy'.'

"Does my brain look big in this?"

Toupee in a tin.

"There's something you should consider before you begin—my hair works hard and it plays hard."

"He'll have to call you back. He's just now jumping in the shower."

'This is Photoshop. It's like the beauty salon of the Internet.'

"For goodness sakes, Harold. Stop preening!"

"She's definitely had work done on her tail."

'He eats his yogurt and carrot sticks out of a grease-stained brown bag to preserve his macho image.'

"Excuse Brian, but he's started to lose his hair."

"This is a Soul Card. We deduct a small monthly fee, and you get your looks back as long as there is a positive balance."

"I had my wings done"

Ears and Nostril Shampoo.

Pre-selfie, Selfie, Post-selfie.

'Scant consolation I'm sure, but the medical council have named the syndrome after me.'

"I warned him about sucking in his stomach so much."

Message in a Bottle: 'If your reading this my hair do is already ruined.'

"Excuse me...which one would make me look nice on Instagram?"

'The sport's still a mystery to me. I just found out that I look great in uniform.'

'Oh, don't fuss over little old me!'

Cleaner Lifts Weights at the Gym