Vanity Cheerleader Gifts

"I had my wings done"

"The 'Sing Only in the Shower' Community Chorus"

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

....aaaand.... HELICOPTER!

'And, may I add, this hat does not scream, 'Bald Guy'.'

"There's something you should consider before you begin—my hair works hard and it plays hard."

'Not watching this,are you luv?'

"So. . . no, you are not going to root for another team."

"Well, you're not itsy-bitsy to me."

'This is Photoshop. It's like the beauty salon of the Internet.'

Super Bowl Sunday sermon: "Is it better to kick off or receive?"

'Don't worry Marty! All we have to do is sit still and look stupid for a couple of hours . . . like when we watched 'Pulp Fiction'.'

'Medium well, please.'

Pre-selfie, Selfie, Post-selfie.

Ears and Nostril Shampoo.

Cristina Kirchner

'Oh, don't fuss over little old me!'

Bad Hair Year

Man drying his toupee with hand dryer.

Tennis Match.

Got anything in high definition?

"Excuse me...which one would make me look nice on Instagram?"

'Scant consolation I'm sure, but the medical council have named the syndrome after me.'

'Do you remove tattoos...?'

'The sport's still a mystery to me. I just found out that I look great in uniform.'

"Mommy makeovers"

'I've been trialling that new stem cell rub on hair restorer. The good news is, it works...'

'It's middle age spread.' 'I can't believe I'm not thinner.'

Summer options for the young.

Surf fan.

'I've actually started lying about my age. I tell them I'm ten years older than I actually am so they can tell me I look good for my age!'

Meet the new beach bod, same as the old beach bod.

This November, many states are opting for the new simplified voting machines.

Take all the time you want.