Vanity Cheerleader Pillows

"I had my wings done"

"The 'Sing Only in the Shower' Community Chorus"

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

....aaaand.... HELICOPTER!

'And, may I add, this hat does not scream, 'Bald Guy'.'

"There's something you should consider before you begin—my hair works hard and it plays hard."

'Not watching this,are you luv?'

"So. . . no, you are not going to root for another team."

"Well, you're not itsy-bitsy to me."

Super Bowl Sunday sermon: "Is it better to kick off or receive?"

'Don't worry Marty! All we have to do is sit still and look stupid for a couple of hours . . . like when we watched 'Pulp Fiction'.'

'Medium well, please.'

Pre-selfie, Selfie, Post-selfie.

Ears and Nostril Shampoo.

Man drying his toupee with hand dryer.

Cristina Kirchner

'Oh, don't fuss over little old me!'

Bad Hair Year

'The sport's still a mystery to me. I just found out that I look great in uniform.'

Tennis Match.

"Mommy makeovers"

Got anything in high definition?

'Do you remove tattoos...?'

'I've been trialling that new stem cell rub on hair restorer. The good news is, it works...'

Summer options for the young.

'It's middle age spread.' 'I can't believe I'm not thinner.'

Meet the new beach bod, same as the old beach bod.

Surf fan.

'I've actually started lying about my age. I tell them I'm ten years older than I actually am so they can tell me I look good for my age!'

Man at mirror.

'It's Mrs Palmer. She's set solid.'