Valentine Survivors Gifts

Joe's Bar: "Forget Her" Hour, 5-8.

"I don't understand it! My nerd detector's going crazy!"

"...until death do you a favor."

'Do we want to tackle this head on, or just stun it with a glancing blow until next Monday?'

"People of Earth – can everyone see my screen?"

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

'Your job description is fairly simple: Stay in your cubicle and try not to make things worse.'

"OK, now what?"

"It's hard to manage a staff meeting in a company whose employees all have laser pointers."

"I've called this meeting so I could see all of you squirm."

The Department of Lessons Learned...

"I got over DDT, and I'll get over you!"

"Oh no! You, again?"

Generation Ex.

'I see. So what you're saying is that you woke up this morning and your woman had done left you.'

'I don't suppose you're just writing me a Valentine?'

"Being married to her was the most miserable experience of my life, but I was able to develop a sitcom out of it."

"...ummm, remember that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped?"

Mr. Chester's diplomacy

Your Dinner Is In The Trout Stream

Tunnel of lurve

"Nothing - he's ghosting you."

'I'm sorry, but I just can't handle you being out at sea for so long.'

'How did the meeting go?'

"Recently separated."

'I'd like to sample your house wine...Hmm, do you have something that stains a little better?'

Days of Christmas.

"Every time there was a rift in our relationship, we got a cat."

"They don't call it 'The Boulevard of Broken Dreams' for nothing, kid."

"No she won't. She left her ring on the table."

"Nobody ever talks about how when you marry a human at 16, you might divorce by 30 and have to move back to the sea."

"My ex weighs at least 5 lbs and is 23 inches. He usually hangs around the old dock, and prefers worms. Remember, you didn't hear it from me..."

"Technically, I don't think you can claim to have saved your husband's life on several occasions just because you haven't killed him!"

'Frankly, my dear, you can keep the dam.'

"Allow me to introduce my wife - she's been giving me the silent treatment since 1982."