Valentine Hopefuls Gifts

'I don't suppose you're just writing me a Valentine?'

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

'Sometimes it's difficult to get their feelings to the surface.'

Couple melting the snow around them.

My Dream Valentine

Cupid paints Stop sign

'I'm looking for a card that says if I didn't get you this, I'd never hear the end of it.'

"I really need to start wearing clothes this time of year."

Cupid and parachutists.

'I'm huggable!'

'I got you 10 roses. I believe strong relationships are based on the metric system.'

Man and Woman suck in their stomachs in order to impress.

"Bad Dog!!! You can't trust those chocolate labs."

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

"He stowed his own bag, closed the bin, buckled his seat belt, then watched the whole safety demo...it was love at first flight!"

"She gave everyone in class a Valentine. It doesn't mean she likes you!"

Surgeon Finds Heart Reading 'Be my Valentine'.

'He must be serious,mum - he's taking me out again tomorrow and there's football on television.'

Modern Cupid

'Love what you've done with your hair.'

They all have one thing in common...they all have bad breath.

You know how last year you told me you'd teach me how to pick up ladies? I said "If you spend a year working out." Well, in this past year, I've run 18,000 miles and burned tens of thousands of calories. Accidentally leaving your phone's pedometer on all year doesn't count, little buddy. You didn't say that beforehand. Loophole. Maybe next year.

'Quick Betty, come round to the Red Lion and wear your highest heels.'

'Judging from the chart, I'd say someone has a crush on their nurse...'

Valentine for Guru.

'How much for NO stems?'

The bad news is, you need a new heart. The good news is, you have lots of options. Be mine. Kiss me. Love U. 2 Cute.

"Only one Valentines card? Still could have been a lot worse!"

"I think she really like me. She held my hand almost as long as she held her phone."

Pets: 'Chick magnet.'

Without you I'm lost...

'Listen, I like you and everything, but your dad is way too scary...'

"He's been mentioned as a possible husband."

Lion Toupee

'He looks promising!'... 'So far he hasn't made any.'