Love Hopefuls Gifts

"And just remember: Daddy got you out of that nasty pet store because he hopes you'll act really cute and friendly in the park, especially around attractive, single women."

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

'Sometimes it's difficult to get their feelings to the surface.'

"Boy, I hope we never end up like this."

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

"I do love you, Jerry, but it's somewhere below the conscious level."

'Telephone call for Mr. Right!'

Cupid misses his shot.

"He says he loves me, but he still uses his first wife's birthday as his password."

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

Same sex families - it's about love, not sex, after all...

"I don't love you anymore, Barry, but I still think you're a great American."

"I'm just so relieved! I thought you didn't love me anymore, but now I realize I was just projecting!!"

"It's a beautiful ring. She'll definitely pause for a moment before saying no."

'He's not so much a rough diamond, more a dumb block of carbon.'

'Love gets the credit, but business makes the world go round.'

Yes, but.

"I tolerate you too. With all my heart."

Make love not war

'I don't want anything for myself...But if it's not too much trouble, please send my mother a son-in-law who's a Doctor...'

"If only I liked you a little more and you liked like me a little less."

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

Man and Woman suck in their stomachs in order to impress.

"Oh, you were on automatic pilot? And what about her? Was she on automatic pilot, too?"

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

'I don't suppose you're just writing me a Valentine?'

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

'No wonder the divorce rate is so high!'

Spud dating.

"Love me, Tinder; love me, do. . ."

'Come now - surely we can draw up this pre-nuptial agreement amicably.'