Heartbreak Survivor Gifts

'I see. So what you're saying is that you woke up this morning and your woman had done left you.'

"I've been divorced for six years and I'm still feeling aftershocks."

"Nobody ever talks about how when you marry a human at 16, you might divorce by 30 and have to move back to the sea."

"The next song tells of the heartbreak of romance. The disappointments, the disagreements, the bickering. This is too difficult for me. I'm not going to sing it."

"They don't call it 'The Boulevard of Broken Dreams' for nothing, kid."

Mr. Chester's diplomacy

'So you came all the way from Aberdeen to say you've found someone else and you're over me?!' 'Yes! I wanted to see the pain and sense of loss in your eyes.'

"No she won't. She left her ring on the table."

Wills and Lover's Leap.

Days of Christmas.

New from the phone company...call thwarting,

'This was my favorite song back when I had feelings.'

"Oh no! You, again?"

"...ummm, remember that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped?"

Throwing out unwanted Romances.

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

"...until death do you a favor."

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

Blues artis's daily list

"We can try and mend the damaged heart, but not a broken one."

'I see. So what you're saying is that you woke up this morning and your woman had done left you.'

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

"We can deal with many heart related issues apart from 'a heart torn asunder by the meretricious behavior of a mendacious lover.'"

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

',,,But if I do eat them I'll lose my child support, Oh, Alice,divorce is so hard,'

"I got over DDT, and I'll get over you!"

"Only time can heal a broken heart, Brenda, and fortunately I have the time, every Thursday at three o'clock."

'If cupid shot me with his arrow this week, it would bounce right off!'

"It's over between us, Kevin, I've met a most wonderful cod!"

'2 chocolate truffles in the morning and 2 in the evening should cure your broken heart,,,'

Ereptile Dysfunction

"Being married to her was the most miserable experience of my life, but I was able to develop a sitcom out of it."

'What are you doing trying to tempt me?? I told you I was through with you!!'

'What do you mean you lost the keys?'