Heartbreak Recovery Gifts

'2 chocolate truffles in the morning and 2 in the evening should cure your broken heart,,,'

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

Speed Dating for Turtles

Self-esteem room

"Have you tried barking at the moon?"

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

"I always spend New Year's surrounded by loved ones."

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

"We can try and mend the damaged heart, but not a broken one."

"I think we need to have a chat about your 'support team'..."

Site of new Super Gamblers Anonymous.

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

"We can deal with many heart related issues apart from 'a heart torn asunder by the meretricious behavior of a mendacious lover.'"

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

"Don't wait too long for Mr. Right or you'll end up with Mr. What's left!"

"Ever since the accident, I can't seem to get it together."

"Only time can heal a broken heart, Brenda, and fortunately I have the time, every Thursday at three o'clock."

A man sews broken hearts back together.

'I don't believe in blind dates... the last time I got fixed up I got neutered.'

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

"Oh no! You, again?"

"I do feel like my old self, but I want to feel like my young self!"

Nobody warned Marge that a side effect of a hip replacement is feeling more hippy.

'I see. So what you're saying is that you woke up this morning and your woman had done left you.'

Patient with a drip on a micro scooter.

'You sounded better yesterday.'

"...ummm, remember that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped?"

'Well, if you really want to know...you will meet a short, pale and ugly man...'

Psychiatry visit.

"I'm not sure I'm ready to date again. I'm just coming off a bad mitosis."

Mr. Chester's diplomacy

"Honestly, I'm not sure I even know who every one of you are anymore."

'Howard's short stay in the hospital was good for both of us. He finally appreciates my cooking.'

'Another triple, Joe -I'm trying to forget several women.'

A woman buries her broken heart