Heartbreak Survivors Gifts

'Breaking Up'

"Yeah, she broke my hearts alright..."

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

"...until death do you a favor."

Blues artis's daily list

"We can try and mend the damaged heart, but not a broken one."

"We can deal with many heart related issues apart from 'a heart torn asunder by the meretricious behavior of a mendacious lover.'"

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

',,,But if I do eat them I'll lose my child support, Oh, Alice,divorce is so hard,'

"I got over DDT, and I'll get over you!"

"Only time can heal a broken heart, Brenda, and fortunately I have the time, every Thursday at three o'clock."

"Oh no! You, again?"

"It's over between us, Kevin, I've met a most wonderful cod!"

'If cupid shot me with his arrow this week, it would bounce right off!'

Ereptile Dysfunction

'2 chocolate truffles in the morning and 2 in the evening should cure your broken heart,,,'

'I see. So what you're saying is that you woke up this morning and your woman had done left you.'

"Being married to her was the most miserable experience of my life, but I was able to develop a sitcom out of it."

"On a personal note, my wife, Ann, and I have agreed to separate, as I've fallen in love with the sound of my own voice."

"...ummm, remember that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped?"

Mr. Chester's diplomacy

"I've been getting the most intense workouts since I taped a picture of my ex on the heavy bag!"

Your Dinner Is In The Trout Stream

'Another triple, Joe -I'm trying to forget several women.'

'These anti-depressants aren't for swallowing, sir, they're for throwing at your ex-wife.'

'When I said we should see other people, I didn't mean starting tonight.'

'What are you doing trying to tempt me?? I told you I was through with you!!'

'Darlin', what's an adjective for a two-timin', heart-breakin' outlaw that rhymes with iPod?'

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

"Every time there was a rift in our relationship, we got a cat."

"Don't cry over her. There will be plenty of fish out of the sea."

'My advice? Dump him! There are plenty more fish in the sea...'

'It feels great now, but you will see when it's pulled out.'