Heartbreak Survivors Gifts

'Breaking Up'

'I'd like to sample your house wine...Hmm, do you have something that stains a little better?'

"Yeah, she broke my hearts alright..."

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

"...until death do you a favor."

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

Blues artis's daily list

"We can try and mend the damaged heart, but not a broken one."

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

"We can deal with many heart related issues apart from 'a heart torn asunder by the meretricious behavior of a mendacious lover.'"

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

',,,But if I do eat them I'll lose my child support, Oh, Alice,divorce is so hard,'

"I got over DDT, and I'll get over you!"

"Only time can heal a broken heart, Brenda, and fortunately I have the time, every Thursday at three o'clock."

'2 chocolate truffles in the morning and 2 in the evening should cure your broken heart,,,'

"Oh no! You, again?"

Ereptile Dysfunction

'If cupid shot me with his arrow this week, it would bounce right off!'

"It's over between us, Kevin, I've met a most wonderful cod!"

'I see. So what you're saying is that you woke up this morning and your woman had done left you.'

"Being married to her was the most miserable experience of my life, but I was able to develop a sitcom out of it."

'Another triple, Joe -I'm trying to forget several women.'

'When I said we should see other people, I didn't mean starting tonight.'

'These anti-depressants aren't for swallowing, sir, they're for throwing at your ex-wife.'

"I've been getting the most intense workouts since I taped a picture of my ex on the heavy bag!"

"...ummm, remember that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped?"

Your Dinner Is In The Trout Stream

Mr. Chester's diplomacy

'What are you doing trying to tempt me?? I told you I was through with you!!'

"On a personal note, my wife, Ann, and I have agreed to separate, as I've fallen in love with the sound of my own voice."

"Nothing - he's ghosting you."

'Darlin', what's an adjective for a two-timin', heart-breakin' outlaw that rhymes with iPod?'

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

'My advice? Dump him! There are plenty more fish in the sea...'

"They don't call it 'The Boulevard of Broken Dreams' for nothing, kid."