Heartbreak Enthusiast Gifts

'Darlin', what's an adjective for a two-timin', heart-breakin' outlaw that rhymes with iPod?'

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

Sitting in a tree

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

Blues artis's daily list

"We can try and mend the damaged heart, but not a broken one."

'I see. So what you're saying is that you woke up this morning and your woman had done left you.'

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

"We can deal with many heart related issues apart from 'a heart torn asunder by the meretricious behavior of a mendacious lover.'"

"Let's text her, she'd like that."

"Only time can heal a broken heart, Brenda, and fortunately I have the time, every Thursday at three o'clock."

'If cupid shot me with his arrow this week, it would bounce right off!'

"And the person who made all those promises, this man you loved, trusted and ran away with, who subsequently stole your life savings and then abandoned you... is he in the courtroom today?"

"Men just won't leave me alone!"

"Oh no! You, again?"

'2 chocolate truffles in the morning and 2 in the evening should cure your broken heart,,,'

'I see. So what you're saying is that you woke up this morning and your woman had done left you.'

The Invention of Country Music.

Mr. Chester's diplomacy

"...ummm, remember that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped?"

"I'm sorry your girlfriend left you, Frank...but you must concentrate on the job!"

'It feels great now, but you will see when it's pulled out.'

"Don't cry over her. There will be plenty of fish out of the sea."

"I broke it off with him when I realized his love of quinoa was but a sham."

"Recently separated."

"They don't call it 'The Boulevard of Broken Dreams' for nothing, kid."

'I'd like to sample your house wine...Hmm, do you have something that stains a little better?'

Days of Christmas.

Her tears flowed like wine.

Tears

"Come on now. It's not that bad. We never even had Paris."

"I was an incurable romantic until I met Martha's divorce lawyer."

Emotional sabotage animals.

What's the matter, Emily? Jeremy the jerk dumped me. I can't take it. My whole insides hurt. You'll be better off without him. Thanks, Twig. Youre lucky you didn't fall in love. Sigh. I wish I had a broken heart!