Heartbreak Enthusiast Pillows

'Darlin', what's an adjective for a two-timin', heart-breakin' outlaw that rhymes with iPod?'

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

Sitting in a tree

Blues artis's daily list

"We can try and mend the damaged heart, but not a broken one."

'I see. So what you're saying is that you woke up this morning and your woman had done left you.'

"We can deal with many heart related issues apart from 'a heart torn asunder by the meretricious behavior of a mendacious lover.'"

"Let's text her, she'd like that."

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

"Only time can heal a broken heart, Brenda, and fortunately I have the time, every Thursday at three o'clock."

'If cupid shot me with his arrow this week, it would bounce right off!'

'2 chocolate truffles in the morning and 2 in the evening should cure your broken heart,,,'

"And the person who made all those promises, this man you loved, trusted and ran away with, who subsequently stole your life savings and then abandoned you... is he in the courtroom today?"

"Men just won't leave me alone!"

"Oh no! You, again?"

'I see. So what you're saying is that you woke up this morning and your woman had done left you.'

"...ummm, remember that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped?"

Mr. Chester's diplomacy

The Invention of Country Music.

"I'm sorry your girlfriend left you, Frank...but you must concentrate on the job!"

"I broke it off with him when I realized his love of quinoa was but a sham."

"Don't cry over her. There will be plenty of fish out of the sea."

"Recently separated."

"They don't call it 'The Boulevard of Broken Dreams' for nothing, kid."

'It feels great now, but you will see when it's pulled out.'

Tears

Her tears flowed like wine.

"Come on now. It's not that bad. We never even had Paris."

Emotional sabotage animals.

"I was an incurable romantic until I met Martha's divorce lawyer."